CL Pauwels at Large

I hate bathrooms.

Let me clarify. Hate is not an emotion I admit to often (even to myself), and as part of a family who enjoys tent camping and who subjected our son to such dire privations over the years (just ask him!), I prefer indoor plumbing as much as the next person. A hot shower can be bliss.

But I do hate bathrooms.

Not because of the nonsensical, far-too-heated debate over transgender access (Get over it, people – they just have to pee!), but the mundane, everyday need to clean the damn things.

I hate it.

The smell, the scum, the grunge in the corners and the drains, the tiny pieces of hair and fuzz and lint that cling to every surface but the cleaning rag – and did I mention the smell? Not just the normal bathroom odors, even though it’s now apparently appropriate to use stuff like Poo-Pourri to mask human necessity with an in-the-bowl floral scent (!!). No, to add insult to injury, and make a dreaded job even worse, the chemicals needed to make a dent in the aforementioned scum and grunge are one of my (many!) migraine triggers. Even the “natural” cleaners carry such strong odors I can all but guarantee a headache before I’m done.

I made a vow years ago – and repeat it to Hubby almost every time I tackle the bathroom chore – that when (if?!) I sign that multi-book contract/make the NYT Bestsellers List/win the lottery, I’m hiring someone to clean the bathrooms every week.

Just the bathrooms.

I can deal with the rest of the house (okay, maybe the windows once in a while), but not having to face that awful task, which I freely admit I put off until it’s urgent, would be my idea of luxury.

What chore would (do?) you hire out, if only you could?