CL Pauwels at Large

January reboots abound, and my Facebook Memories list is littered with resolutions made and missed. But this year is different. No, really! Hear me out.

After spending nearly all of October through mid-December 2023 as 24/7 caregiver for my 84-year-old mother after emergency surgery that resulted in almost every complication you can imagine, I’ve lost my routine, my goals, myself. Somehow I need to reclaim all that. And that’s not a resolution; that’s a necessity if I want to regain any semblance of normality…and sanity.

Mom and I have a…complicated relationship. Add megatons of emotional baggage on top of the repeated medical crises, and these past weeks have been exhausting on every level. I have a book coming out this spring which needs my attention; I have personal home (not just Mom’s) issues that need my attention. I’ve gained weight from stress eating, lost my exercise routine (such as it was), and now face yet another fibro flare (fibromyalgia) that won’t stop.

I need to focus, to reconnect. So this is my outlet, my journal, my accountability. I hope you’ll share the journey; I promise not to wallow, but to muse.

On Mondays, I’ll wander philosophically, emotionally, and wherever the monkey brain takes me. And writing is usually a part of those wanderings. In a month or so, when my publisher has a solid release date for Fatal Errors (new series, not related to my Toledo Trilogy), I’ll introduce you to my new cast of characters.  

Wednesdays I’ll share what I’m reading, which…tah-dah!…allows/forces me to keep reading. See what I did there? I don’t do book reviews (burned too many times with that effort), but I’ll tell you about books that made me think, made me laugh, or simply offered enough of a distraction to get me through the day. All good stuff, I promise!

My blog tagline quotes Tolkien: “Not all who wander are lost,” but I’ve certainly felt lost since early October. Let’s see if I can find my way home.